First, wanted to thank everyone for all the support. Your messages of encouragement, compassion and love mean a lot to Michelle and the family. This past week has been busy and stressful but has also been positive as we prepare for our last fight.
We’ve spent long days with our herbalist and have been diligent about all that he has asked us to do, which includes getting lots of rest, taking herbal medicine, practicing Qi/Chi Gong, and sticking to certain dietary restrictions. It truly is a comprehensive treatment plan that has been focused on building Michelle’s strength and is now transitioning to fighting her cancer. Considering that Michelle underwent a transplant 7 months ago and chemo just 21 days ago, it’s amazing how great she feels and looks. People that see her in person can’t even tell she’s sick, except for the fact that she has a bald (and beautiful) head.
On the Western medical front, we’ve been working on ensuring that there indeed were no other options, as our oncologist had indicated last Friday. We’ve traded emails and spoken with doctors in Seattle who have helped us evaluate the viability of Clofarabine, a more standard chemotherapy agent, and Mylotarg, a “targeted” chemotherapy agent. We’ll spare everyone the details…the end result of lots of research and discussion is that both drugs could work for Michelle but aren’t very promising. We’ve heard words like “rare,” “long shot,” and “hail mary.” The overall conclusions in Seattle are that if we choose to continue fighting with Western tools, it’s NOT unreasonable to think they could be successful, but we must be aware of the risks, which could be fatal. Ultimately, we could be shortening Michelle’s life even more with these desperate measures. Lastly, we also had a consult today with another oncologist at Kaiser who essentially agreed that it was best not to pursue these other options.
So, although these are never terms or conclusions you want to hear associated with your remaining life-saving options, it has been important for us know where exactly we stand so that we can more confidently commit to our Eastern treatment without second-guessing ourselves. One of my goals this week was to make sure there was nothing compelling out there that we didn’t know about, and I think this goal has been achieved. For all those individuals that helped me by staying up late at night, helping me think things through, pulling favors with colleagues, poring over medical research, etc., words can’t express the gratitude I feel. Thank you so much.
Lastly, I just want to say that although we understand the position we’re in today, we remain hopeful. There are so many success stories walking in and out of our herbalist’s center every day. It’s absolutely amazing. We hope we’re the next ones. With this in mind, we’ve been able to stay remarkably light-hearted. We cry a lot but we laugh more. For every sad moment that we share during the day, we have many more where I step back and realize how much our family and friends love Michelle and each other. We’ve been given a rare gift…a sort of advance warning that is truly bittersweet. We’re going to relish the sweet and worry about the rest later.
34 responses so far ↓
1 Amanda Manklang // Jul 3, 2009 at 2:16 am
Hey Michelle & Van!
All of us at the temple are rooting for you! We are all sending our positive thoughts and we all hope you kick leuk’s ass major!!!
2 AMP // Jul 3, 2009 at 9:09 am
Van and Me-shell,
I’ve always been so amazed by your strength and ability to see the brighter side of things and channel your energy to a positive direction. You’ve taught us to think about life in a new perspective when things aren’t going so well. I find myself thinking about trivial things and realizing there are so many more important things to think about or do in life. You’ve also taught us to really treasure our time with friends and family and so much more. For that, I am truly grateful. I love you guys.
3 A Fan // Jul 3, 2009 at 9:34 am
I’m really glad you are looking into the Eastern route. If you are religious people, seek counsel in that regard as well. Often miracles occur when we least expect them.
4 carollai // Jul 3, 2009 at 9:45 am
thank you for sharing. wanted you to know that i am continuing to pray for that miracle. have hope and faith.
5 lany // Jul 3, 2009 at 12:33 pm
the resolve and perseverance the two of you display is truly remarkable. good things happen to good people and miracles happen to amazing people. michelle and van, the two of you are beyond amazing. i’m rooting for you guys!
6 Tammy // Jul 3, 2009 at 12:41 pm
sending you both lots of love and prayers. i *will* be seeing BOTH of you at all the cal home games.
7 Rick Payne // Jul 3, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I’m pulling for you Michelle.
8 SP // Jul 3, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Go Michelle!!! You can do it.
9 Michelle // Jul 3, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Continually in our thoughts and prayers. You are such a fighter, Michelle. You and Van stay strong!
10 Jenny // Jul 3, 2009 at 10:35 pm
My heart breaks for you guys and everything you’re having to deal with.. I’m loving your attitude tho! Two incredible fighting spirits and two beautiful souls. My thoughts are with you.
11 Stacie Tamaki // Jul 4, 2009 at 1:27 am
Michelle I am praying for you with every fiber of my being that you receive the miracle you deserve.
I so admire the way you have faced your illness and even in the hardest moments you and Van have both continued to move forward with eyes and hearts wide open. Even when the news is bad you are both always giving and sharing with your readers what you are going though and how you are dealing with it. We are all learning so much by your example.
It has been a humbling experience knowing that you and others face these hardships with such courage and dignity while others who are perfectly healthy worry and cower at things that really don’t mean anything or matter at all.
Keeping you, Van, your family and Marshawn in my thoughts and prayers Michelle. Sending healing vibes your way and hoping your next post is that the Eastern Medicine is lowering that blast count.
12 Ide // Jul 4, 2009 at 1:39 am
=D
You got this!
13 Cherimoya // Jul 4, 2009 at 5:00 am
Hi, you might want to check out these links: http://www.lef.org/protocols/cancer/leukemia_02.htm and http://jaymun.com/
The first one is about supplements and minerals that might halt the growth of AML cells, the latter is about a parent who managed to get his young child into remission using said supplements.
Never give up! Good luck.
14 Suzanne Brazau // Jul 4, 2009 at 7:14 am
As I said I would go to Saint Joseph’s Oratory in Montreal, I did exactly that. I told my friend about it and as she reads your blog as well, she was came as well. we both prayed for you and left messages to heal and cure you with Father Andre, Saint Joseph and others who are know to heal and cure. Please keep in mind that my son Alex’s chances did not look great and he here today. With LOve, Suzanne XXXX
15 -Stacey // Jul 4, 2009 at 11:43 am
I am glad to hear that you both have the strength and fortitude to still fight. I admire your courage while at the same time am mad at the world for making good people like you both have to go through this.
I am keeping you both in my prayers and thoughts. If anyone can get through this, it is the two of you!
16 Another Fan // Jul 4, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Good for you for making such wise and well thought out decisions. I have heard of so many success stories with Eastern treatment and I can’t wait to come to your blog one day and hear how you are yet another one! There is so much love and admiration being sent your way. Continue to stay strong and as someone so nicely put it on an earlier post “Eff Cancer!”.
PS – you look GORGEOUS!
17 Helen // Jul 5, 2009 at 5:21 pm
I always knew you two were different. Love the incredible amount of positive energy you guys have keep up! Those pictures are adorable and just as the post say, Michelle you look wonderful.
18 How-Ying // Jul 5, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Michelle, I hope for the best for you and Van. Your cause has helped thousands of Asian-Americans become aware and join the fight against leukemia. Your blog has inspired thousands, myself included, to reexamine their lives and live them in a different way. No matter what happens, the impact you have had, and continue to have, upon this world is far greater than any of us can achieve.
19 Carol // Jul 5, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Michelle, your head is very pretty and, of course, your beautiful spirit always shines through in your smile. Whenever I think of you, I think of you smiling, laughing, and having fun. It’s amazing but not surprising that you can smile through all of this. Visualize all of the joyous moments that you will experience after beating this! Miracles can and do happen everyday. Will be praying for you.
And thanks, Van, for being so supportive for Michelle always.
20 Russell // Jul 6, 2009 at 1:26 am
Van, Michelle… I can tell you that I am filled with hope for you. Why? Because people give up or they don’t. That was the time when the vast majority of the people on Earth would give up… and you did NO such thing.
Now, while you are looking to holistic medicine, may I please suggest that you have a look at curezone.com? There is an amazing amount of info there, and so many tales of recovery that it is becoming difficult to marginalize. I found out about this in studying the case of a woman who, diagnosed with MS, pronounced incurable, of course, went researching her troubles only to find that her symptoms were that of someone else who had discovered that foods containing Aspartame (Nutrasweet) caused the gradual onset of the symptoms.
She (you guessed it) stopped drinking diet soda and eating yogurt containing it and her incurable MS went away.
Here is a link to a documentary on the woman in question:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6551291488524526735&ei=oLNRSrO4HYnSrALE8fTGDg&q=sweet+misery&hl=en
… Don’t give up.
21 ck // Jul 6, 2009 at 9:10 am
michelle ,you look so beautiful.I am praying for you michelle.never give up.van ,you are a wonderful humanbeing! yes you are right..leave no stone unturned.. please check the following link…
http://www.blogcatalog.com/search.frame.php?term=aml-treatment&id=423307fca7c3359ddf801d0e53b51024
22 Deedee // Jul 6, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Keep fighting Michelle. We all love you very much and are wishing you well.
You look amazing and your strength is extraordinary. Stay strong!
-Deedee
23 Pim // Jul 6, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Our hearts are with you chica!!
Love,
Pim & Gary
24 Susan // Jul 6, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Your strength is amazing! Your in my prayers, Michelle.
25 Christine Y // Jul 6, 2009 at 9:27 pm
my thoughts, prayers, and energy are all pointed at you and your families. the fact that you won’t give up is more proof that you will beat this illness. stay strong.
26 Valerie // Jul 6, 2009 at 10:49 pm
michelle (and van), you are amazing. such an inspiration, always. thinking of you and sending lots of positive energy (and long distance hugs) your way….
27 Valerie // Jul 6, 2009 at 10:51 pm
ps – those pictures are adorable!
28 Timmy T // Jul 7, 2009 at 2:14 am
Michelle and Van…
PROJECTMICHELLE.COM on my FB all day everyday, its prompting folks from all over to read this blog.
A friend of mine in Malaysia working on human trafficking stuff spent a few hours reading up…
All us temple kids are still sending you all our positive energy….
-Tim
29 Molasses Minds // Jul 7, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Michelle & Van,
The love you have for each other is absolutely amazing. I believe in miracles and will pray that you get one.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
BTW.. Michelle, you look beautiful in these pictures. Not a bad picture of Marshawn either.
Keep the faith.
30 Agnes // Jul 8, 2009 at 8:41 am
Hi Michelle and Van
Antonio and I are thinking of you every day.
Lots of love
Agnes
31 Stella // Jul 9, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Dear Michelle and Van, I’ve been following your blog for almost two years now. When I read the news, I was in tears and I’m so sorry for what you must be going through. You are a truly amazing person. Stay strong and I’m glad that you are exploring all possibilities because miracles can definitely happen. My thoughts are with you.
32 Chris Barker // Jul 9, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Michelle and Van, even though you might not always feel it inside, your positive attitudes on the outside not only help make you stronger, but it helps me and everyone else who is on your side and trying to help you win this battle. I’m a friend of Carolyn Tam, who passed away in April, which broke my heard, but like you, she NEVER gave up. Michelle, you remind of her, with your constant and beautiful smile, the way you’re communicating your story to the world, with courage and with an amazing attitude!!!
No matter what, DON’T STOP FIGHTING!!! You deserve to live your life, just like anyone else! I am very happy that you’re pulling out all the stops and exploring alternative healing, in parallel with Western medicine.
My thoughts are with you and I will keep spreading the word!!
Have you spoken to anyone at John Hopkins hospital in Baltimore btw??!!
33 Wenda "Jello" Lee // Jul 17, 2009 at 10:59 am
Hi Michelle!
Hope all is well, I’m catching up on your blog and thought about whether or not you guys considered any possible clinical trials? I would suggest a trial that’s undergoing Phase III or IV. Keep on fighting! You really know how to sport the bald look!! >=P Keep looking hot & staying positive! Prayers and warm fuzzies are going out to you guys!
34 Khang Le // Aug 6, 2009 at 2:50 am
http://www.Myspace.com/khangle408
Hi! there’s Michelle.
This is Jack, Wow. I logged onto You’re
projectmichelle, site you’ve received an anormous ammount of Love And support from All over that is what A true heroe is always about live the lif you want But also focus on Others Not leaving any body Behind although you went through what youve endured I understand You’ve left with such a huge huge huge heart Even during bad time’s and Good.
I know,it’s only been a short matter of moments and so forth, I really don;t know, How you do it.Both You And Van and My mentor’s I would have to say, hand’s down I wouldn’t
give the credit to more then any body else like you.
Hey if i could take you’re place, I would ..Honestly I tend to think a lot about what i am, Who i am. And How i can revamp myslf to become successful But in Lif i don’t know, Like there’[s Just so much I still have to learn you know, they say after 25 You No longer start living.
I really want to be able to Make you proud You know, It’s just been such a tough tough time during my life I’v been through a lot Ive seen a lot and
Experienced a lot.
Yet I might not have much of a great life i want to be able to say, Michelle You are wonderful I wish you a Journey I hope heaven’s treating you nicely.
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