If you watch How I Met Your Mother then you’ll understand the Intervention party Mabel threw for me today. I was caught off guard and could not stop bawling when I saw all of my friends at the surprise party. My dear pals read aloud letters written to intervene my relationship with Leuk and end it once and for all. This was the best gift I could ever ask for as I prepare for chemo in the upcoming weeks. THANK YOU.
My oncologist and I decided I would try Sprycel before I start chemo to see if the Sprycel works on my cancer. I started taking it last Monday 5/25. My leukemia blasts cells were 52% in my peripheral blood when I started Sprycel and has dropped to 34% and then 31% over the last 5 days (my wbcs were 22.1, 16.9 and 16.7 respectively). However, the Sprycel and Leuk have also made my counts drop. I received blood and platelet transfusions last week. Despite this, my oncologists thinks the drop in my blasts and wbcs is a good sign that Sprycel is effective. On Friday he suggested that I reconsider enjoying a little more quality time before I start chemo if Sprycel can keep things under control. He believes that waiting a few more weeks will not change the effectiveness of the chemo on my cancer. His offer is mighty tempting as the longer I hold out on chemo, the more I am dreading chemo. I love my short curly locks and the luxury of hanging out with my peeps (especially snuggling with Marshawn). Plus Dr. Johnson warned me that once I start chemo, it may be a very long time before I recover. My new immune system and baby stem cells (remember my old ones got fried with radiation/chemo so I could get the transplant?) may have a tougher time recovering and protecting me from infections as the chemo wipes out my counts as it takes down the cancer.
I am still set to enter the hospital this Tuesday, but if my blood counts look good on Monday I may hold off just another week. Van’s family is coming into town and it would be lovely to spend time with my favorite nieces and nephew. I am a bit freaked out knowing that cancer is lurking in my body and that I haven’t press the GO button on Operation Three Strikes You’re Out Leuk. Am I a mad woman?? Or in denial? Or being stupid?? I have been having this debate in my head all weekend long. I am trying to be as rational as possible so that I do not regret the decision I make. For the first time in my cancer journey I feel like I don’t have a clear path and I am afraid I am going to make the wrong decision. People keep telling me to listen to my intuition/body/gut for guidance, but honestly my intuition is as confused as I am!
If I do decide to delay chemo for another week I will get blood draws every other day to ensure that my counts are in the safe zone and I promise I will not hesitate to check myself into Kaiser if something is funky.
Will keep you posted.
13 responses so far ↓
1 Tommy Trojan // Jun 1, 2009 at 1:46 am
It has been a moving experience for me reading about your courageous journey.
I agree with your family and friends, you should listen to your heart and gut, but to the heart and gut that began this journey. The only obligation and right we have is to live.
I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Fight On!!!
2 tony // Jun 1, 2009 at 10:06 am
hey michelle,
sorry i couldn’t make it, looks like the rest of my roommates were there to cheer you up. clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose! – watch Friday Night Lights when you’re bored!
3 Erin Mullenix-Whitney // Jun 1, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Michelle, YES! Listen to your body! You know what to do best. We’ve all had that weird, sixth sense kind of feeling before. Don’t take that exit..keep driving. Don’t go home just yet. Do call your grandmother. It’s the same intuition. Know that your intuition is in perfect working order, and when sometime needs to happen, you will do it in the perfect time for YOUR journey! You are in our thoughts and prayers. Kick some Leuk Ass!
4 christa // Jun 1, 2009 at 3:38 pm
michelle and van…
i am one of the inpatient nurses from 8NE at UWMC. infact, i gave you your double cord with dr. delaney standing nearby. i remember being so impressed at how knowledgeable you and van were about transplant. i am SO saddened to hear that you have relapsed. however, i am not surprised to read your positive and uplifting attitude. i think that whatever decision you choose, you are doing the right thing. know that you’ve got your old unit rooting for you. we like you, but we don’t want you back here unless you’re coming just to say hello! hope your oncologist and chinese herbalist have some tricks up their sleeves! good luck to you.
5 Samantha MacRae // Jun 2, 2009 at 1:59 am
That is so beautiful. I hope the leuk got the hint! I so know what you mean about worrying about taking a wrong step. I am thinking of you Michelle.
Sam xx
6 carollai // Jun 2, 2009 at 6:58 am
praying for you michelle. there are so many of us out here who don’t know you but who know your story and have been keeping updated. keep fighting…
7 A Fan // Jun 2, 2009 at 7:16 am
Stay strong. Thing positive. We are all praying for you.
8 Suzanne // Jun 3, 2009 at 6:08 pm
I know you will be fine Michelle. I pray for you and I visualise your good cells attacking leuk cells. My son Alex did
that and he is on his way to recovery today. It was a tough journey for him as well but he made it and so will you. Keep faith hope and Love in all that you do, Suzanne
9 Erin // Jun 3, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I just wanted to tell you that I have been sporadically keeping up with your blog, and your entries convey a fighting spirit that helps me more than you would think. I’m merely a high school senior preparing to graduate, and knowing how tough things have been going for you yet how gracefully you manage each obstacle is giving me the motivation to fight on. I first heard about you from Supreme Soul, actually, and I hope you receive more and more coverage, because your writing makes this effort to fight leukemia a much more personal story. I know someone battling leukemia at the moment as well, and I pray that everything works out for both of you.
When I turn 18 in a few months, I will definitely register myself to be a donor. In fact, I will probably end up inviting all my newly-adult friends to register as well, especially my Asian-American friends. I would be ecstatic to know that one of us could help someone like you, Michelle.
Keep fighting, because there are many of us here to support you!
10 Crystal // Jun 4, 2009 at 6:44 am
Wish we knew and could have been there. What an amazing group of people. Decisions are hard bit I know you will make the right one. You did get this far and we know you will get further. Very much hope to see you this weekend! Love you both.
11 Stacie Tamaki // Jun 6, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Michelle no matter what choice you make you will always make the right one. Of that I have no doubt. *Hugs* If you are heading back to Seattle for any further treatments you may bump into Tami as she is now at SCCA and will most likely be there for quite some time.
12 Ed Collins // Jun 7, 2009 at 6:34 pm
My advice is to delay and enjoy more quality time. As your doctor said a little delay won’t hurt the upcoming destruction of the cancer by the chemo.God bless you and heal you.
Love,
Edgar and Nancy Collins
13 Anonymous // Mar 3, 2010 at 9:22 pm
mITCHELL IS GOING TO CELEBRATE MARCH 3RD WITH APPROX. 200 GUESTS. HIS LAST CHEMOTHEARPY WAS A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. iT WAS A HARD LONG STRUGGLE BUT WITH THE WONDERFUL HELP OF HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND HOSPITAL STAFF, HE IS MOVING INTO A FUTURE OF STUDIES TO BE AN ARCHITECT. hIS TWIN BROTHER IS GOING IN FOR ROBITICS. tHANKS TO ALL FOR THE SUPPORT AND PRAYERS. hIS grandma
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