I get TBI twice a day for 4 days. I stand with my legs between a bicycle cushion underneath to give me a bit of support, but mainly you are standing straight on your feet with your arms to the side holding support rails. You stand inside a 3×3 space surrounded by plastic walls and bars. The radiation beam shoots into your space. I’ll have to post pictures of it because it’s hard to describe.

My 1st appointment was at 8am yesterday. It was quite surreal, mainly in part because I was probably dehydrated and was not given dexamethazone (they don’t normally pre-med with this for TBI). You get zapped 2 times in the front and 2 times in the back. I think each zap lasts around 5-7 minutes. By the 4th zap, my ears started ringing, I had cold sweats and things got very bright. I thought I had said out loud, “I think I’m going to faint. I don’t feel so well.” I guess I didn’t say it loud enough, but luckily the technicians soon realized that I needed a break so they stopped mid treatment to let me sit and barf. It took a while for me to come to my senses and for the bright lights to go down. I think my body knew that something weird is up.

Off to a bad start, which only means that I can only go up from there right? I was loaded up on hydration and medicine so the afternoon session went very well. This morning went well too. Unfortunately during my 4th evening session the darn computer broke so I had to stay an extra 20-25 minutes in the tight contraption. I think my body has a limited threshold before it starts to rebel with nausea, headaches and overall ill feelings. I immediately got a dose of IV Ativan that took the nausea away when I got back to my room.

I probably shouldn’t call them “zaps,” because you don’t feel anything, except hear the buzzing sounds while the machine is on. Each zap feels like it lasts a long time, but I haven’t counted. Today I tried doing Buddhist mantras, “Namo tassa, bhagavato, arahato samma sambuddhasa”….I said it about 50 times during each “zap”.

I’m happy that I have 2 more days, 4 more sessions of TBI to go. Then is the BIG DAY!!!! All of my counts are low, but as to be expected. I got 2 units of red blood cells today, my wbc is 0.86 and my platelets are 50k. Other than that, my room is nice, the nurses are great, the food is bleh (but I blame my changing taste buds), and my energy level is still okay. No need for naps yet!

I miss everyone so much. I hope everyone has marvelous plans for Thanksgiving. Van just told me that the Hutch did a Thanksgiving dinner drawing for its patients and I won a complete Thanksgiving dinner to be sent to our apartment. I tell ya…cancer and all…I’m still a very lucky girl! Many things to be thankful for too.

p.s. Marshawn is back at home. My brother and his sweet girlfriend is nursing him back to health. (Thank you so much Michael and Casey.) He’s doing much better. I can’t believe his overnight stay was going to be 10X more expensive than my own hospital stay. Thank god for puppy insurance.