I get TBI twice a day for 4 days. I stand with my legs between a bicycle cushion underneath to give me a bit of support, but mainly you are standing straight on your feet with your arms to the side holding support rails. You stand inside a 3×3 space surrounded by plastic walls and bars. The radiation beam shoots into your space. I’ll have to post pictures of it because it’s hard to describe.
My 1st appointment was at 8am yesterday. It was quite surreal, mainly in part because I was probably dehydrated and was not given dexamethazone (they don’t normally pre-med with this for TBI). You get zapped 2 times in the front and 2 times in the back. I think each zap lasts around 5-7 minutes. By the 4th zap, my ears started ringing, I had cold sweats and things got very bright. I thought I had said out loud, “I think I’m going to faint. I don’t feel so well.” I guess I didn’t say it loud enough, but luckily the technicians soon realized that I needed a break so they stopped mid treatment to let me sit and barf. It took a while for me to come to my senses and for the bright lights to go down. I think my body knew that something weird is up.
Off to a bad start, which only means that I can only go up from there right? I was loaded up on hydration and medicine so the afternoon session went very well. This morning went well too. Unfortunately during my 4th evening session the darn computer broke so I had to stay an extra 20-25 minutes in the tight contraption. I think my body has a limited threshold before it starts to rebel with nausea, headaches and overall ill feelings. I immediately got a dose of IV Ativan that took the nausea away when I got back to my room.
I probably shouldn’t call them “zaps,” because you don’t feel anything, except hear the buzzing sounds while the machine is on. Each zap feels like it lasts a long time, but I haven’t counted. Today I tried doing Buddhist mantras, “Namo tassa, bhagavato, arahato samma sambuddhasa”….I said it about 50 times during each “zap”.
I’m happy that I have 2 more days, 4 more sessions of TBI to go. Then is the BIG DAY!!!! All of my counts are low, but as to be expected. I got 2 units of red blood cells today, my wbc is 0.86 and my platelets are 50k. Other than that, my room is nice, the nurses are great, the food is bleh (but I blame my changing taste buds), and my energy level is still okay. No need for naps yet!
I miss everyone so much. I hope everyone has marvelous plans for Thanksgiving. Van just told me that the Hutch did a Thanksgiving dinner drawing for its patients and I won a complete Thanksgiving dinner to be sent to our apartment. I tell ya…cancer and all…I’m still a very lucky girl! Many things to be thankful for too.
p.s. Marshawn is back at home. My brother and his sweet girlfriend is nursing him back to health. (Thank you so much Michael and Casey.) He’s doing much better. I can’t believe his overnight stay was going to be 10X more expensive than my own hospital stay. Thank god for puppy insurance.
14 responses so far ↓
1 Me // Nov 18, 2008 at 5:13 am
Stay strong, thinking of you and praying for you everyday.
Love.
2 Nancy Sakakura // Nov 18, 2008 at 9:28 am
Hang in there Michelle. Two more days of TBI then the transplant day! Our prayers are with you. nancy & mark
3 Mike Wu // Nov 18, 2008 at 11:36 am
I went through what you are going through just over 4 years ago. Think of it as your step toward complete recovery. I am optimistic you will get through this like I did with my allo transplant. Hanging there!
4 James Park // Nov 18, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Hey, Maykin. Not sure if I’m catching you in time for your big day, but I just wanted to wish you luck and let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you. I was talking to my friend Buster last weekend. You remember him, right? Hard to forget a guy who pees right next to you, in a cup, amongst 50,000 fans at Memorial. Anyhow, he asked about you, and of course, wishes you a successful procedure and recovery as well. Can’t wait to hear about how it all goes.
5 fjd // Nov 18, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Go Michelle!
6 carol // Nov 18, 2008 at 12:41 pm
keep going strong michelle!!! you’re doing it– step by step. praying for the next two days and then… the big day!
7 Trojan // Nov 18, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Michelle,
You’ve been quite a trooper. I read your updates in absolute amazement. Keep doing what you’re doing. Best of luck with the transplant.
8 Kristian // Nov 18, 2008 at 5:15 pm
wooh! stay strong!
Happy early Thanksgiving ^_^
9 huy // Nov 18, 2008 at 6:42 pm
It’s pretty cool they let you blog from inside that 3×3
10 Young // Nov 18, 2008 at 10:52 pm
hey michelle, i (we) have not forgotten about you. i know your thing is on 11/20. i’m staying up-to-date with your writings and am hoping for good news each day. i’m glad you got marshawn puppy insurance, comes in handy. i forgot to do it with my dog. i hope you got our card … did i ruin a surprise?
11 Gina Cousineau // Nov 18, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Hard to believe that the big day is almost here. I remember them telling us that it was going to be very anti-climatic. Evan was so mad that his doctor wasn’t even there for the transplant. We soon learned how easy the day would be, simply a blood transfusion of life giving cells. Yipee!! Love to you, Evan’s Mom
12 jenn yee // Nov 19, 2008 at 12:09 am
i dont understand why the machines keep breaking on u… this makes me sad but u are always so calm about it. i really think u should get to go on oprah bc u are such an inspiration.
13 Carol // Nov 19, 2008 at 8:01 am
Hi Michelle!
Almost the big day! You are gonna emerge from it even better than you already are (which is freakin’ awesome!) I read that “A joful heart is good medicine”. I know you have that and more - your intelligent doctors, supportive fam and friends (and pooch), and a killer fighting will. Be fearless and fierce! There ain’t nothin’ stopping you!
14 AMP // Nov 19, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Hiiii Me-shell. I got so many visuals from this posting. Trying to imagine being there with you. Just wanted to let you know that I miss you and I’m praying for you. *bear hug*
Leave a Comment