It’s hard to believe it’s been over a month since my 2nd round of MEC chemo. I’ve settled quite nicely into our weekly routine of outpatient blood draws, tv marathons, visits from friends and walks with Marshawn. My extended vacation from the hospital went very well. Mainly, I didn’t catch a bug or get an infection.

This past week my white blood cell counts finally came back to normal levels (4.5). Consequently, I am getting admitted into the hospital for round 3 on Monday to keep leukemia away while we continue to wait for a donor. I will receive 3 doses of MEC chemo over 3 days. If all goes well, I am hoping to get released on day 4.

This is the first time I am dreading chemo. I usually looked forward to getting admitted because it meant I was one step closer to completing my treatment plan. Going into this next round with no donor in sight is nerve wrecking. I don’t know how many more rounds of this my body can take. And with some patients, the chemo stops being effective. This is one of my worst fears. I feel like we are in limbo. My oncologist (who’s quite spiritual) always reassures me that my karma is too good to not find a match. The universe wouldn’t be that unfair. I sure hope he’s right.

Every morning I wake up with a bit of anxiety. Questions and fears running around in my head can keep me paralyzed in bed for hours. However, I am learning that the best way to squash these gremlins is to think about all of the hard work family, friends, colleagues, classmates, and even strangers have put into Project Michelle. My eyes well up every time I think about the countless hours you have dedicated to registration drives, meetings, publicity, contacting the media, the website, t-shirts, etc, etc. YOU are the ones that give me the strength to face each new day with faith, courage and hope. I am so grateful. Thank you.

On a lighter note, here’s something else that keeps me going, my little poopster. Here’s some of his other tricks. Hopefully, he’ll perform some of these at the Cal drive tomorrow.